I am a fashion icon.

Okay, not this cold. But still.

The weather outside has turned to dark side here in West Michigan. It is cold. It is wet. And it is cold.

I am reminded of when I was a freshman in college when the weather turned evil. No longer under my parents’ roof and able to make my own decisions without reflecting on their parental abilities, I made some unique decisions when it came to my wardrobe at college.

If you’ve been following the blog for any length of time, you’ll know that I attended Western Michigan University in Kalamazoo, Michigan. A fine school. A diverse school. A school without dress codes (outside of the normal legal ones that exist everywhere). This lack of dress codes combined with the lack of people who would otherwise stop me led to fashion decisions based primarily along utilitarian lines.

Did I wear my socks inside out? Sure, because when I took those socks off, they would be magically right-side out again.

Step 1: Put on long johns. Step 2: Add shorts.

Did I wear long johns with shorts when I ran out of clean pants to wear when it got cold outside? You bet. My warm shirts-to-pants ratios were all messed up, and everyone knows that the determining factor for laundry day is based on underclothes, not pants. So I did what I had to in order to stay warm.

Do I still do these things? No.

Now, I am married to the most wonderful woman in the world. We wash our clothes more often now than I did in college and I have since corrected my warm shirts-to-pants ratio. Also, I love my wife too much to put her at unnecessary risk for further embarrassment. She still has to manage a baseline of embarrassment because she is my wife, but I don’t need to go out of my way to embarrass her more.

So, next time you are cold and all out of pants, consider wearing long johns with some shorts. I won’t be joining you, and you may get some odd looks, but you’ll be warm.


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