I was cleaning part of my basement the other day when I happened across a relic from my time as Visiting Groups Director at YMCA Camp Manitou-Lin. What I found was a little notebook filled with all of my innermost secrets. I filled this little notebook with my innermost secrets because that is what the cover told me to do. And though there is a picture of a lock on the cover, it isn’t all that safe of a notebook.
You see, I used to leave this little notebook around the camp for people to enjoy before they returned it to my desk. I liked to see if people would read the secrets or whether they would respect my privacy. In most cases, curiousity triumphed over privacy (which shouldn’t that surprising to anyone who has worked at a camp). Anyway, I thought I would share these secrets with you too.
Today, I’ll cover the first two pages of the notebook. More pages will follow in future weeks.
- My name is Josh Mosey.
I wanted people to be able to identify the owner right away. That way they could easily return my secrets to my desk. Also, I liked the idea of using known facts as innermost secrets.
2nd Innermost Secret:
- I’m the Visiting Groups Director.
Just in case anyone didn’t know who I was, they could find my office by my title.
3rd Innermost Secret:
- I’m straight.
I don’t think there was a lot of question here, but in case there was, I wanted people know that I am a straight man whose secret inclinations are also straight.
4th Innermost Secret:
- I really am 23.
This was actually a lie. At the time I wrote this, I was 21. I think I told people that I was 23 because that was the minimum age for certain camp restrictions, like administrating the ropes course.
- My favorite animal is a human woman.
I read this to my wife and she said, “So we’re just animals to you?” I didn’t know how to respond at the time, but I’ll try now. “Um,” I would say. “Nope, you aren’t animals at all. But if you were, you’d be my favorite.”
6th Innermost Secret:
- I had scones once.
I know that scones are delicious pastries that go well with coffee and tea, but the word scones also kind of sounds like a horribly painful disease. Like shingles or boils. Scones.
7th Innermost Secret:
- Norway rules!
This isn’t a secret so much as an opinion. Actually, no. This isn’t so much an opinion as a fact. Norway rules!
8th Innermost Secret:
- My “gut” is really all muscle.
I like this one because it is quite obviously not true. And even if it were, how would that explain the extra chin that hides neath my beard?
Hopefully you’ll enjoy this series, because I have a total of 54 innermost secrets to share. Until next time, thanks for reading!