Meatball & Pineapple Hoagie Massacre


I made dinner the other night. I make dinner a lot of nights. It isn’t like I am new to cooking. Thanks to the willingness of my beautiful wife to pick the girls up from Grandma and Grandpa’s house after she gets done working 8-9 hours as an accountant, I have the time to get home and make dinner before she arrives with the girls.

Anyway, I was making Meatball & Pineapple Hoagies. It’s a really good quick meal, but it had been a while since I made it. I dug the recipe out of the cookbook drawer and gave it a quick read-through. Here’s the recipe:


  • 1 Large Sweet Onion, halved and sliced (2 cups
  • 2 Tbsp. Olive Oil
  • 1 16-oz. pkg. Frozen Cooked Meatballs, thawed
  • 1 cup Peeled, Cored Pineapple, chopped (about 1/4 pineapple)
  • 1 cup Desired Chutney (my wife and I like Mango Chutney)
  • 1/4 tsp. Crushed Red Pepper
  • 4 Hoagie Buns, split and toasted (my wife and I like to melt in a bit of provolone cheese into the buns in the broiler)
  • 8 slices Provolone Cheese (optional)


In large skillet, cook onion in hot oil over medium heat about 8 minutes, or until tender, stirring frequently. Stir in meatballs, pineapple, chutney, and crushed red pepper. Cover skillet; cook 3 minutes more, or until heated through, stirring once. Serve in buns. Serves 4.

So that’s the recipe. Very simple. Not many ingredients. Doesn’t take long to cook.

Here’s how I messed it up. I didn’t see 1/4 tsp. of crushed red pepper. I saw 1/4 cup of crushed red pepper.

I remember measuring it out, thinking, “Man, that’s a lot of red pepper.” But did I double-check the recipe? No. No, I didn’t. I just dumped it in and mixed it up.

My wife got home with the girls while I was toasting the hoagie buns, the final step of the process. We got the girls’ dinner ready (both are still young enough to require their own prepared dinners), and my wife peeked at our dinner in the skillet and said, “That’s a lot of red pepper.”

I said, “Yeah, that’s what I thought.”

One bit into our hoagies, she asks, “How much did the recipe call for?”

“Um,” I said, “I’ll check.” I didn’t want to say how much I added, because now I was second-guessing how much I should have added.

“I’m up,” said my wife, who was getting us some more water to drink. “How much did you add?”

“How much does it say I should have added?”

“How much DID you add?”

“Um,” I said, “One quarter…”



My wife burst with laughter.

“Oops,” I said.

Anyway, it really is a good recipe, when you follow the directions. And it wasn’t bad the other night. But it was very warm. So, yeah, be sure to follow the directions.

Read twice, cook once.


2 thoughts on “Meatball & Pineapple Hoagie Massacre

  1. Pingback: Reading the Not-So-Fine Print | Josh Mosey | Writer

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s