Is my face too wide or not wide enough?

Head-Measurer_of_Tremearne_%28front%29I’m a little worried about the width of my face.

According to a recent study, scientists have been studying how the width of a man’s face relates to his aggression and greed. Seriously. Read it here.

Now, my first thought after reading the article was disbelief. I thought they had finished studying this sort of thing a long time ago. The study was called “phrenology,” which was “was a pseudoscience primarily focused on measurements of the human skull, based on the concept that the brain is the organ of the mind, and that certain brain areas have localized, specific functions or modules.” ( Fodor, Jerry A. (1983). Modularity of Mind: An Essay on Faculty Psychology. Cambridge, Mass.: MIT Press. ISBN 0-262-56025-9 p.14, 23, 131)

My second thought was about the sample study. As the research was done by Canadians, it makes sense that they would use hockey players as a subject group for science. After all, I’m sure it’s hard to slap a puck in Canada without hitting a few hockey players. You have to work with what you have.

My final thought was to worry about the width of my face. Since I’ve lost a little weight, my face has started slimming down. According to the study, this will probably make me a more trustworthy fellow, but it also means that I’m less likely to succeed in the business world. I mean, I do like that people can trust me, but I also like money.

Is there a way to have both? Perhaps.

My million dollar idea is to continue losing weight, while at the same time puffing my cheeks out whenever I am not speaking. That way, people can trust my words, but be intimidated when I’m not speaking. Ka-ching! Millionaire.

Head-Measurer_of_Tremearne_%28side_view%29

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4 responses to “Is my face too wide or not wide enough?

  1. I’ve read other studies that indicate something similar yet distinct. According to one study one needs to look at the proportion of the lower 2/3s of the face vs. width. The higher a mans testosterone level, the larger the bottom of the face, cheekbones to chin. And we all “know” the higher hormone levels in men lead to increased aggression. Maybe there is another correlation to research.

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