I am ready for my fallout shelter.


Over the weekend, my wife and I joined an elite group of consumers. We are now members at Costco.

We began our membership around lunchtime on Saturday, bringing our daughters along so we would know what to expect for future trips.

Our first impressions were very good. Every cart there can accommodate two children sitting side by side. When we shop at the regular grocery store, it is always a battle to find the special limo-carts with the extra seat for additional kids. We didn’t have time after naps to have lunch at home before leaving either, but we knew that Costco was supposed to have an inexpensive cafe. So after completing our forms and taking some pixelated pictures for our membership cards, we gave the cafe a try. We were quite impressed that our family of four was able to eat a decent meal together for less than five dollars (total, not individually).

And then the shopping began. We had been holding off on large restocks of some family staples (toilet paper, paper towels, and diapers) in recent, normal shopping trips because we knew we were going to become Costco members soon. Our large cart quickly filled up with unimaginably large quantities of household goods, and I started wondering how we were going to fit our purchases into our vehicle. I needn’t have worried too much, however, because my oldest daughter was willing to sit with a box of frozen waffles on her lap, which was the last thing that didn’t fit.

In the end, it was a two and half hour learning experience. Now that we are somewhat familiar with the store layout, the next trip should take less time. That should help because we also learned that there is no good way to get to the bathroom (which was problematic because our oldest insisted on using the bathroom four times while we were there) and the less time we are there, the less times we will have to make bathroom breaks. We also learned that there are some things that would be fun to buy in bulk, but that we probably shouldn’t because it would make it too easy to consume too much of things that we don’t need (namely ginger beer and frappuccinos).

So now that we have all these bulk quantities of things, the only thing I am missing is the underground fallout shelter in which to store them. Although, maybe Costco sells those too.


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