After all, bald is beautiful.
- No hat hair. Ever.
- It is stylish. Some examples: Bruce Willis, Verne Troyer, Ving Rhames, Stanley Tucci, Andre Agassi, Michael Chiklis, Voldemort, and so on.
- Save money at the barbershop or salon. And you never have to worry about how much to tip yourself when you cut your own hair. Seriously, what’s an appropriate tip in those situations.
“But,” you start to say before I cut you off. I know you have objections. That’s where the next section comes in handy.
- I’ll be cold. Not if you wear a winter hat. And if you get warm, you take it off (see reason 1 above).
- I’ll look silly. No you won’t. (see reason 2 above)
- I look good with hair. As good as these people? (see reason 2 above)
“I hadn’t thought of it that way,” you say. “I’ll just run out and buy a razor now.”
Okay, let’s not get crazy. After all, there are a few (just a few, though) reasons why you might not want to abandon your top-mop.
Valid reasons not to shave your head:
- You have an oddly shaped head. Some people have perfectly shaped domes that need no covering to enhance their natural beauty. But some heads are made to be hidden. Feel your noggin. Are there strange divots or lumps? Maybe you should keep those to yourself.
- You have severe hand tremors. If so, maybe you should have someone else shave your head for you. Don’t attempt it on your own. I don’t want anyone going Van Gogh on me. If you can’t hold a sharp thing confidently against your head without drawing blood or slicing off bits, don’t.
- You only have access to rusty, tetanus-riddled steak knives. I don’t know why I’m warning you about this. Use some common sense.
That’s about it! If you don’t fall into one of the categories above, unleash your cue ball’s inner (outer?) beauty. It doesn’t matter to me if you are male or female. You are going to look awesome!