Trick or Treat | Halloween Jokes

Happy Halloween! Celebrate safely.

Josh Mosey | Writer

Happy Halloween everyone! Instead of candy (which is difficult to enjoy digitally), here are some Halloween jokes. And as with all terrible jokes, please enjoy them responsibly.

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What did one ghost say to the other ghost?
“Do you believe in people?”

What did the boy ghost say to the girl ghost?
“You look boo-tiful tonight.”

What do birds give out on Halloween night?
Tweets

What do ghosts add to their morning cereal?
Booberries

What do ghosts drink at breakfast?
Coffee with scream and sugar.

What do ghosts eat for dinner?
Spookgetti

What do you call a ghost with a broken leg?
Hoblin Goblin

What do you call a witch who lives at the beach?
A sand-witch

What do you call someone…

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Excuses – And Why They’re Your Fault

A good reminder from my writing pal, Bob Evenhouse, that we are often our own roadblocks on the way to success.

PART-TIME NOVEL

I can think of a billion reasons why I have not sold a novel or taken over the literary world. Is it because I am bad? Lazy? I don’t think so. It’s because I constantly throw stupid hurdles in my path just like you.

They’re called excuses.

  • I’m too tired.
  • The yard needs raking.
  • I don’t have a good idea yet.
  • I’m waiting for inspiration to strike!
  • I have to do laundry.
  • I can never been like xyz writer. So why bother?
  • I’m bad at grammar.
  • I’m not smart enough.
  • My novel is terrible.
  • I just don’t have enough/adequate time.

Leaves A picture of someone else’s backyard. I’m too ashamed to show my own.

Some of these are responsibilities. You should see my yard. It needs raking.

But why is it so easy to create this list?

I believe, if we are honest, we are the ones permitting ourselves to stop…

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Parking Your Buns at Jot 4

Call 616.957.3110 and reserve your seat at Jot today. Tickets are free, but seating is limited. Anyway, check this out.

Jot Writers Conference

If you’ve never been to Baker Book House, you are missing out. Fortunately, you can easily rectify that mistake by attending the next Jot Writers’ Conference which is being held at Baker Book House on Friday, September 12th (but you probably already knew that).

There are a lot of great reasons why we hold Jot at a bookstore. Here are just a few:

  • Bookstores are natural second homes to writers (and for those of you who would say that coffee shops are even more natural second homes for writers, Baker Book House is home to Icons Coffee, an indie coffee shop with the best Chai Latte in the world).
  • The space is free for us to use because Baker Book House is wonderfully supportive of West Michigan’s vibrant writing community (plus, one of the members of the writing group that runs Jot works there).
  • And finally, there are a…

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10 Things for My Birthday List As Suggested By My 2 & 3 Year Old Daughters

daughters_a_and_b

  1. A swimsuit with a shirt that I could wear at the pool (As the only male of the house, I’m the only one that gets to go topless).
  2. A toy that has a funny ring and has a sippy cup with it and we could tug with it (like a dog toy).
  3. Bees.
  4. Heart-shaped Re-useable plastic ice cubes.
  5. A cool toy that says “Woo! I’m a robot!” and is also a backpack.
  6. A beach ball that doesn’t leak air with an American flag on it.
  7. Water.
  8. A table with funny red legs that walks around.
  9. A mailbox with funny red legs with a cup (funny) in it.
  10. Candy to eat on Christmas.

I’m pretty sure that they were just looking around and saying things that they saw, but whatever. I’ve already been gifted by being a dad, so it doesn’t really matter if they get me anything at all. In fact, I hope they do not get me bees.

(But I do kind of hope they get me the cool robot backpack thing. That sounds awesome.)

Last Minute Jot Information and LiveStream

Jot Writers Conference

Hello writing friends. I wanted to inform you of a few last minute details regarding Jot.

  • The parking lot may fill up quickly. If so, consider parking in the TCBY parking lot instead of the one by La Cantina, unless you want your car towed. This is the safest parking lot nearby.

If you cannot make it, there are two ways to join us:

See you in a few hours!

The Weaklings

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How to Get the Most Out of Jot

Jot Writers Conference

jotI’ve read it in writing magazines and on blogs and websites of famous writers that going to writer’s conference is one of the best things you can do if you are serious about being a writer. Writing conferences are part education, part encouragement, and part filler of that elusive creative well.

If you’ve been to Jot, I hope you’ve experienced these things.

Writing can be a lonely process. This is not just true for us amateurs but for professionals too. In the book CS Lewis: Eccentric Genius. Reluctant Prophet., Alister McGrath points out that Tolkien (older and well respected in higher education circles of his day) timidly showed CS Lewis one of his poems he had been working on. Lewis approved of it so enthusiastically, he showed him more. In part, because of that encouragement we now have The Hobbit and the Lord of the Rings. Being around other writers…

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Holiday Mix-Up

One of my sisters-in-law is an elementary teacher in North Carolina. Not only is she a great person because she is blood-related to my wife, but she also uses my Saturday Photo Prompts in her classroom as teaching tools. My favorite part of this fact is that occasionally she’ll send me the stories that her students write based on my prompts.

Such was the case recently when she sent the stories you will read below. Unfortunately, due to some kind of mix-up, the photo upon which these stories are based did not originate from my Saturday Photo Prompts as she thought it did. In any case, they are wonderful stories and I can’t just keep them to myself, so I’m going to share them now before another holiday passes and these are really out of date.

Enjoy!

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pumpkins

Once upon a time there was a contest but only on Halloween. Everyone started on their pumpkins. There was 147 people. After a kid cut one oft he pumpkins and then a ghost came out. But the kids or the father and mother did not see the ghost. The kids felt sad that their pumpkin was a mess. But they put it in the contest. But they put in the wrong one. They saw a ghost and got it and their pumpkins and ran. They went to their house. Then Halloween was over and they won gods. (Not sure what that last bit’s about)

– Jennifer

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 One day a ghost who got trapped in a pumpkin and the pumpkin grew legs and arms. And guess what, he was now a pumpkin man. So he followed a bird. He followed it into town and scared the people away. The town’s people grabbed the pitchfork and torches. They chased the pumpkin man. Mr. Jack ran for his life. So he won’t get stopped. Help! Help! cried Mr. Jack. Then they sliced off his head.

– Trenton

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 One night, it was Halloween and everybody saw a bunch of some scary pumpkins. But one looked really weird. It was a pumpkin that was haunted. And people always say if you touch it you will disappear. There was a boy named Max who was very interested in where the pumpkin would take you. So one night he decided to touch the pumpkin and…. nothing happened. So the next morning Max told everybody that the pumpkin was not haunted. And the pumpkin was never haunted again. Max was glad nobody else had believed in a haunted pumpkin anymore.

– Jeremiah

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 One day was there a pumpkin carving contest. There was a little girl who wanted to enter the pumpkin contest. Then she went to tell her friends all about it. They all went to the sign up sheet so they can enter the contest. Then they started to carve the pumpkin. Julie said I do not was to do anything normal like a smiley face on the pumpkin. I want to do something outrageous like put the word BOO or a witch on the pumpkin. Then somebody shouted let’s do a villain or a really scary face. It was the day of the contest and the judges got ready. They looked at each pumpkin and then the judges decided it was the scary pumpkin the little kids had made. They won!

– Jasmin