Holiday Mix-Up

One of my sisters-in-law is an elementary teacher in North Carolina. Not only is she a great person because she is blood-related to my wife, but she also uses my Saturday Photo Prompts in her classroom as teaching tools. My favorite part of this fact is that occasionally she’ll send me the stories that her students write based on my prompts.

Such was the case recently when she sent the stories you will read below. Unfortunately, due to some kind of mix-up, the photo upon which these stories are based did not originate from my Saturday Photo Prompts as she thought it did. In any case, they are wonderful stories and I can’t just keep them to myself, so I’m going to share them now before another holiday passes and these are really out of date.

Enjoy!

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pumpkins

Once upon a time there was a contest but only on Halloween. Everyone started on their pumpkins. There was 147 people. After a kid cut one oft he pumpkins and then a ghost came out. But the kids or the father and mother did not see the ghost. The kids felt sad that their pumpkin was a mess. But they put it in the contest. But they put in the wrong one. They saw a ghost and got it and their pumpkins and ran. They went to their house. Then Halloween was over and they won gods. (Not sure what that last bit’s about)

– Jennifer

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 One day a ghost who got trapped in a pumpkin and the pumpkin grew legs and arms. And guess what, he was now a pumpkin man. So he followed a bird. He followed it into town and scared the people away. The town’s people grabbed the pitchfork and torches. They chased the pumpkin man. Mr. Jack ran for his life. So he won’t get stopped. Help! Help! cried Mr. Jack. Then they sliced off his head.

– Trenton

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 One night, it was Halloween and everybody saw a bunch of some scary pumpkins. But one looked really weird. It was a pumpkin that was haunted. And people always say if you touch it you will disappear. There was a boy named Max who was very interested in where the pumpkin would take you. So one night he decided to touch the pumpkin and…. nothing happened. So the next morning Max told everybody that the pumpkin was not haunted. And the pumpkin was never haunted again. Max was glad nobody else had believed in a haunted pumpkin anymore.

– Jeremiah

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 One day was there a pumpkin carving contest. There was a little girl who wanted to enter the pumpkin contest. Then she went to tell her friends all about it. They all went to the sign up sheet so they can enter the contest. Then they started to carve the pumpkin. Julie said I do not was to do anything normal like a smiley face on the pumpkin. I want to do something outrageous like put the word BOO or a witch on the pumpkin. Then somebody shouted let’s do a villain or a really scary face. It was the day of the contest and the judges got ready. They looked at each pumpkin and then the judges decided it was the scary pumpkin the little kids had made. They won!

– Jasmin

My Favorite Halloween Costume Ever

I was a sophomore in college, living at His House campus ministry at Western Michigan University.

The previous year, I had dressed up like my philosophy professor and attended his class dressed as him. This year, I needed something better.

Something Bigger.

Something Equally Cheap.

And so I went to the Dollar Store with absolutely no idea of what my costume should be. And then I saw them. inflatable dinosaur toys. I knew right then and there what I was going to be for Halloween. I would be “Jurassic Park”.

The whole park.

My roommate had some caution tape somewhere in our room, and between that and my dinosaurs, I would be all set. Well, almost all set.

After attaching the dinosaurs to my sweatshirt and sweatpants with clear tape and adding a healthy dose of caution tape, I knew that I was still lacking something essential. So I quickly crafted a paper that hung suspended between two pencils atop my winter hat that read “Welcome to Jurassic Park.”

In retrospect, the awesomeness of the costume was a bit wasted on the fact that college students are too old to trick-or-treat and Christian college students don’t get invited to the typical Halloween costume parties that happen on and off of campus. Oh well.

At least I still have my inflatable dinosaurs and memories to keep me warm on this cold October day.

What’s your favorite costume?

josh_halloween_2001

Trick or Treat | Halloween Jokes

Happy Halloween everyone! Instead of candy (which is difficult to enjoy digitally), here are some Halloween jokes. And as with all terrible jokes, please enjoy them responsibly.

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What did one ghost say to the other ghost?
“Do you believe in people?”

What did the boy ghost say to the girl ghost?
“You look boo-tiful tonight.”

What do birds give out on Halloween night?
Tweets

What do ghosts add to their morning cereal?
Booberries

What do ghosts drink at breakfast?
Coffee with scream and sugar.

What do ghosts eat for dinner?
Spookgetti

What do you call a ghost with a broken leg?
Hoblin Goblin

What do you call a witch who lives at the beach?
A sand-witch

What do you call someone who puts poison in a person’s corn flakes?
A cereal killer

What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?
Frostbite

What do you get when you cross a werewolf and a vampire?
A fur coat that fangs around your neck.

What do you get when you cross Bambi with a ghost?
Bamboo

What does a skeleton orders at a restaurant?
Spare ribs

What does a vampire never order at a restaurant?
A stake sandwich

What does the papa ghost say to his family when driving?
“Fasten your sheet belts.”

What is a ghost’s favorite mode of transportation?
A scareplane

What is a ghoul’s favorite flavor?
Lemon-slime

What is a skeleton’s favorite musical instrument?
A trombone

What is a vampire’s favorite candy?
A sucker

What is a vampire’s favorite holiday?
Fangsgiving

What is a vampire’s favorite sport?
Casketball

What kind of cereal do monsters eat?
Ghost-Toasties

What kind of mistakes do spooks make?
Boo boos

What kind of streets do zombies like the best?
Dead ends

What type of dog do vampire’s like the best?
Bloodhounds

What would a monster’s psychiatrist be called?
Shrinkenstein

When does a skeleton laugh?
When something tickles his funny bone

Where do spooks water ski?
On Lake Erie

Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?
His ghoul friend

Why did the vampire go to the orthodontist?
To improve his bite

Why do mummies have trouble keeping friends?
They’re so wrapped up in themselves.

What do skeletons say before they begin dining?
Bone appetit!

Why don’t angry witches ride their brooms?
They’re afraid of flying off the handle.

Why don’t skeletons ever go out on the town?
Because they don’t have any body to go out with…

Why was the mummy so tense?
He was all wound up

Jokes courtesy of Ink Stains with Roni

And of course, a clip from the animated version of Ray Bradbury’s The Halloween Tree (with voices by Leonard Nimoy!)

My Halloween Present

This past Friday, I got to get out of work a bit early so I could pick up the girls from Grandma’s daycare to visit my wife where she works.

The company that my wife works for goes all out for holidays, and Halloween is no exception. Every department was given money to decorate their area in spooky decor and buy candy to hand out. And then from 3pm to 5pm, workers were encouraged to bring their kids in costume through the haunted halls to each office, cubicle, and workstation to trick-or-treat, where the costumed staff would hand out candy. Some departments were even giving out full-size candy bars.

I love where my wife works.

Not just because of the candy that we got (that my two-year-old isn’t going to eat by herself), but because they really seem to value family. This was our daughter’s first Halloween where she participated in some way, and though it wasn’t a huge thing, it was a special way to spend an afternoon together.

We learned a few things too: Our oldest might be afraid of giant bananas. She is definitely afraid of people in alien masks. But she is even more afraid of the semi-trucks that were driving in and out of the shipping department as we walked into the building.

Now, let me tell you about the costume. In accordance with the challenge issued by my friend Jessie Clemence over on her blog, my wife and I chose to make a costume for our daughter for under $5.00. My original thought was to make a book costume modeled after one of her favorite board books, but we didn’t have the time to pull if off well. My second thought was to somehow use one or more of the many, many baby shower gift bags that we’ve been hanging onto for far too long. When I told this idea to my wife, she told me that she was thinking along the same lines.

So, we made our daughter into a present for Halloween at a total cost of zilch. We found an appropriately sized bag, cut a hole in the bottom for her legs, had her put her arms through the handles and tied the handles together with a ribbon behind her back so she wouldn’t be able to take it off. For finishing touches, we stuffed tissue paper around her (and I was surprised that she didn’t even try to remove it). She even carried around another smaller gift bag to use for collecting candy.

Look at how happy she is!

And for anyone concerned that little sister didn’t get to participate, she did. But since her costume is essentially a pair of fuzzy pajamas with ears on the hood and required absolutely no effort on our part, it might be considered cheating as far as Halloween costumes are concerned. Also, she’s 3-months-old and has no concept of holidays yet.

Anyway, here’s wishing you and yours a happy and safe Halloween!